On Going Against My Nature

So there's a pandemic on.  Government officials, at least the ones without their heads up their asses, are telling everyone to stay home and socially distance.  Fine.

I have no issue with that whatsoever.  I've read all the articles.  I've studied the actual facts.  I know that taking those steps will help, even if it's only a little bit, toward "flattening the curve."

My employer is taking all necessary steps to protect its workers and its residents, and I am very proud to be working for an organization that is not only taking this thing seriously, but is actually ahead of everyone else in how they are doing so.  My impulse - my very nature - is to ask, "How can I help?" and throw myself into doing whatever is necessary.  Need me to work longer hours?  No problem.  Need me to do tasks that are normally out of my wheelhouse.  Right away.  Whatever I can do I'm willing to do.  

Trouble is, it's not just me I have to think of in this scenario.  My wife and daughter are both immuno-compromised.  If I go out to a location and bring this thing home, it's even worse for them than it is for most.  That's not to say if I got sick with this thing it wouldn't be horrible, possibly even fatal, but for them it's even more of a risk, and because of that I have to limit what I do.

I've talked to my boss and he's been very understanding of this.  I think he's bending over backwards to make it so that I can stay home and keep them safe.  I just wish I could shake the guilt I feel that my colleagues are on location pitching in and I'm sitting in my home office doing what I can.  

Don't get me wrong.  I'm working my ass off.  I just wish I could do more.

We'll all get through this.  And I'll do what I can.  I just wish I could do more.